Let’s take a look at all the games, using spreads published on Tuesday (unless there’s a drastic change since then for some reason).
Last Week: 0-0
Year to Date: 0-0
PIT @ NE (-7.5)
I took the Patriots, which turned out to be the wrong side thanks to the most inevitable back door cover in the history of mankind. Like thousands of others, I tweeted it would happen about 5 minutes before it did.
Have Pats (-7.5) in a picks league and you KNOW a backdoor cover is coming here.
— Bryan Allain (@bryanallain) September 11, 2015
I took the Patriots.
GB @ CHI (+6.5)
If the Bears are one of the worst five teams in the league, and I think they are, then they get trounced by this Packers team. The John Fox in Chicago Debacle is about to begin. Packers, 31-13.
I’m taking the Packers.
Nerdy Uniform Note: Bears will wear their Monsters of the Midway throwbacks.
SEA @ STL (+4.5)
The Seahawks are the better team, make no mistake…but…the Rams’ front seven is a matchup nightmare for the Seahawks. I have no idea what to expect out of this new STL offense, but maybe the Rams keep it close and lose late? Oh by the way, Kam Chancellor is still holding out. Seahawks, 24-20.
I’m taking the Rams.
CLE @ NYJ (-3.5)
Two decent defenses, two not-so-decent offenses. I was tempted to take the Browns and the points because the Jets have a new coaching staff and some inevitable speed bumps on their learning curve, but I just couldn’t do it. This Brown’s offense might be the league’s worst. Jets, 28-17.
I’m taking the Jets.
Nerdy Uniform Note: Not a fan of the Browns’ new unis.
Any way you slice it, in any color, the lettering on the Browns' new pants is just brutal. pic.twitter.com/suqIzDZmtI
— Paul Lukas (@UniWatch) August 29, 2015
CAR @ JAX (+3.5)
Do you remember the scoreline from last year’s Jacksonville opener?
Up 17-0 on the Eagles at the half! What if Jacksonville comes out strong again, only they’re not facing Chip Kelly, they’re facing this pedestrian Panthers’ offense? I think it’s a close one, Jacksonville 24-23.
I’m taking the Jaguars.
KC @ HOU (-1.5)
Two 9-7 teams from last year with Wild Card aspirations, average quarterbacks, and dominating stars on defense. I’m leaning towards the Chiefs because I think Alex Smith will make fewer mistakes than Brian Hoyer. Kansas City 23-17.
I’m taking the Chiefs.
MIA @ WAS (+3.5)
If you believe the Dolphins are a playoff team, then they have to go into Washington and take care of business. I actually have the Fins outside of the playoffs this year…though I’m wondering if they could steal that spot from the Steelers…but I think they can make a statement on Sunday. How does that Redskin offensive line hold up against Wake and Suh? I don’t think it does, and I think Miami looks better than they are in this one. Miami, 34-10.
I’m taking the Dolphins.
IND @ BUF (+2.5)
I’d feel a lot better about taking the Bills if I was getting another point, but it still seems like this line might be too low to be true. Indy is my AFC pick to play in the Super Bowl, but Rex Ryan has had all summer to game plan against Luck, and he has the best players at his disposal that he’s ever had as a coach. Indy, 21-20.
I’m taking the Bills.
NO @ ARI (-2.5)
I may have been the last person on the Saints bandwagon last year, so I’m starting off the year nowhere near it. Like I wrote in the Beast Book, I like the changes they’ve made; I just want to see it first. The Cardinals’ offensive line worries me, but as long as Palmer is on his feet, Bruce Arians’ will have his team taking care of business. Arizona, 34-31.
I’m taking the Cardinals.
DET @ SD (-3.5)
Like I talked about on this week’s Battle Lines podcast, I’m taking the Lions as a hedge against my Beast Book predictions. I’ve got Detroit missing the playoffs and San Diego winning the West, so I’m flipping the script for this pick. Ideally, the Chargers win by 3 and I win both ways. Also, if DeAndre Levy is out for the Lions as he may be, I’m suddenly feeling a lot worse about this pick. Chargers 27-24.
I’m taking the Lions.
Nerdy Uniform Note:
— Phil Hecken (@PhilHecken) September 10, 2015
BAL @ DEN (-4.5)
I think the Ravens will win the AFC North, so I love getting 4.5 points with them, even if it is on the road in Denver. Let’s see Payton Manning look great again before going to crazy about this Broncos team, no matter how great their defense might be. Ravens 27, 21.
I’m taking the Ravens.
TEN @ TB (-3.5)
Totally making the emotional hedge play here. I’d really like to see the Titans and Mariota pull out a win here, so I’m taking the Bucs. I like TB’s defense more, but I’m very concerned about their offensive line protecting Winston. Should be a close one. Bucs, 31-27.
I’m taking the Buccaneers.
CIN @ OAK (+3.5)
There’s a lot of buzz in Oakland, but a football team is more than just a stud LB and a promising WR. Cincy went on the road in last year’s opener and beat the Ravens, I think they’ll take care of business here. Bengals, 28-20.
I’m taking the Bengals.
NYG @ DAL (-5.5)
I’d normally be scared about Romo in a night game hosting the G-men, but not with the Giants defense looking so vulnerable. I’m not sure that the Giants will be able to generate a pass rush or cover the Cowboys skill players. Forget about Dallas’ backfield, just chuck it 45 times and win big. Cowboys 41-28.
I’m taking the Cowboys.
Random Side Note: Only on Twitter can you poke fun of Geico, only to have them poke fun back at you.
PHL @ ATL (+2.5)
I wouldn’t be shocked if Atlanta feels disrespected in this one and comes out guns blazing. That being said, I’m watching this game with a bunch of Eagles’ fans, and I think they’re going to enjoy the show. Eagles 37-24.
I’m taking the Eagles.
MIN @ SF (+2.5)
We’ve spent all off-season convincing ourselves that the Niners are an afterthought and that the Vikings could be a 10-win team. I predicted as much in my Beast Book this year. But what if, just what if, this is the Niners last stand? They keep it close, control the clock, and eke out a victory? Then they go on to lost 7 of their next 8? 49ers, 28-27.
I’m taking the Niners.
Nerdy Uniform Note: The niners will wear the new black alternate uniforms for this game. I don’t hate em, but don’t love em either.
— San Francisco 49ers (@49ers) May 1, 2015